Job Hunting Is NO fun

This is my life......wake up, make my coffee, hit the "Want-Ads" looking for a job....so far, NOTHING!!! I have called about a few, but today, I'm no closer to finding a job than last year!!!!

Now, my husband is telling me I need something full time....Okay, how in the heck is that going to work....Who is going to take the kids and pick them up from school? When he told me what I had to make to survive, I wanted to throw up.....I will be making enough to support my kids at their private school....We still get no further...just maintain...I'm sick of just maintaining.....I want to be able to do things....go places, buy things....

I know this sounds soooo spoiled rotten....Because when I'm looking at it, I'm saying the same thing....

Tonight, I was taking my oldest son to his friends house for a birthday party....WOW!!! When I saw their house I was shocked....I am so happy for them...It is beautiful!!!!! But, not sure we will ever live in something like that...yes, she works...for her husband...who is a doctor....

I am in a big major funk tonight....I am out of time to find the job that would make me okay to leave the house and be gone from family....Now, it's find anything that will pay quick.....

I might as well face it....I have to go back to teaching.....not what I wanted to do, however, it's what I can do to have summers with the kids.....ready for this, no jobs....those have been filled...so, I thought I would sub...however, he is saying I need something now...and subbing might not be enough......I am drowning right now......I feel as though I have just let go of the life support that was my safety and going into the deep despair of fear.........

I'll be better soon...just not tonight....